• Do you have your biggest impact on people when you’re meeting one on one with them?
  • Is it really easy for you to introduce yourself to someone and immediately strike up a conversation?
  • On the other hand, is it challenging for you to walk into a room full of 50 people that you don’t know and find somebody to talk with?

If all of that matches you, then probably one of your skills is connecting with people one on one.

If this is you, then most likely the more time you spend with someone, the more they get to know you, the more likely that they’re going to end up working with you; that they become your client or your team member or perhaps they become a trusted referral partner for you.

This is a great skill and I want to give you four tips to help you leverage it even more.

First, if you’re not already in a smaller, structured, weekly referral-based networking group, I advise you to get yourself in to one as quickly as possible. This is the kind of group where your skills will really shine. Again, you won’t shine quite so brightly if you’re looking at groups where it’s like 30, 50, 100 people with that sort of cocktail party format where you just have to dive in, start talking to people and sharing your business card. Instead, look for something that’s smaller, that has consistent attendance, that has a structured format and is based on referrals.

BNI or Business Networking International is the most popular or most prevalent group and there are many others. I’m in a group with a similar format called Women in Networking here in North Carolina. We’re a weekly group that is based on sharing referrals and leads, with a structured format, and with attendance requirements. That’s super-comfortable for me.

If you’re a member of my community and this is your sweet spot, then I recommend you find a group like that for yourself A.S.A.P. So that’s tip number one.

Tip number two to support you in having more one on one connections; make sure that you’ve got a couple great questions that are your go-to questions to help you go deeper in the conversation with people. One of my favorites is to ask someone: “What is it about your field or your direct selling company that makes it exactly the perfect fit for you?” When they give me their answer, they are telling me what they’re passionate about and that’s helping both of us go deeper into our relationship.

Next up, make sure that you feel comfortable releasing people. When you’re really comfortable one on one, it increases the odds that you’re going to find yourself at networking events with people who are less comfortable and less confident and the two of you will just kind of get stuck together like two burrs so you’ve got to know how to release them in a graceful, comfortable way.

One way to do that is to share your intention and speak from the heart so you can say, “Susan, it’s so great to meet you. I’ve really enjoyed chatting with you.” Right there, that’s already signaling your intention to start transitioning. Then you can go on to say, “My intention for this event is to connect with as many people as I can. I’ll follow up with you [in whatever way makes sense, whether that’s through email or via phone]. Again, great chatting with you.”

Then the final tip is to go deeper in the follow up than you’ve ever gone before. Get in the practice of writing hand-written notes to people to thank them for your one on one time with them. Make sure you’re scheduling that one on one time with them so when you run into someone whether it’s at a networking event or a party or you met them somewhere at the Post Office; no matter where, if they are of interest to you then schedule a one on one meeting with them. Set up that coffee date; get the two of you deeper in the conversation.

These four tips will really help you leverage this amazing and wonderful skill that you have of going very deep with people very easily in one on one relationships.

This is definitely something that can help you build your business so long as you leverage it. So don’t spend any more time asking yourself, “Why is it so hard for me to dive into a room of 50 people that I don’t know?” Instead ask yourself, “How can I create even more one on one connections than ever before?” because that’s going to be the right strategy for you to use to build your business.